HANDLING BULLIES

Remember the fights in school? Remember how everybody would gather around and watch and encourage their friends? When I was in school, I was not a fighter. I didn’t get in trouble many times for fighting, but the few times I did, I was not the one who started the fight. I remember one fight I had with a guy named Robert. I don’t remember why the fight started, but I do remember that wrestling move he used on me. I’ll never forget it. He grabbed my arms from the front, and fell backward on the ground, pulling me down with him. At the same time, he put both of his feet on my stomach and flipped me over his head onto the ground behind him. It knocked the breath right out of me.

Mrs. Brauner saw us and came to break up the fight. It was already over, but she did her duty and told us to go clean up, then come to the Library for our paddling. As Robert and I walked together to the restroom, he said we should put a bunch of toilet paper in our pants to keep the paddling from hurting so bad, so that’s what I did. I went into one of the stalls and packed my underwear, full, and I assumed he did, too. Then, we both walked together down the long hallway to the library to take our punishment. I don’t think the toilet paper helped any. If it did, I would have hated to take that paddling without it. It hurt! Good old Robert. He tried to help. What’s funny is, we became friends after that.

There was another kid there who rode our bus. He was always poking fun at me and one of my sisters, laughing and talking about our zits. We actually had the acne disease. I had it all over my face and chest, but she had it on her face, chest, and back. We had to go to the doctor regularly to get medication for it, but it didn’t do much good. Not a day went by that he didn’t harass us about it. It got old, but there was nothing we could do about it.

I know you’ve heard “What goes around comes around.” Karma, or whatever it may be. After elementary school, I didn’t see him for a few years. He was a teenager the next time I saw him, and his face was so full of zits you probably couldn’t put your finger on his face without touching one. I wasn’t a Christian then so I actually laughed, and said, “That’s what he gets for making fun of us.”

There were two or three times in school when I was bullied by another student. One of those times was by a kid named Tommy. He would sit behind me on the school bus and flick my ear. The first few times, he acted like it wasn’t him, but after I knew it was, he would do it and laugh about it. Later, he started doing it and getting other kids to laugh about it.

Then one day, I had had enough. When he flicked my ear, I turned around in my seat and yelled at him to leave me alone. I guess he didn’t like that, so he grabbed both of my ears and slammed his head into my head three times as hard as he could. It hurt so bad it made me cry. After that day, we got along pretty good, and he never bothered me again. I guess he got it out of his system.

There was another bully name Daniel. He would do all kinds of stuff to me just to aggravate me. I don’t remember all the stuff he did. He was just bullying me around all the time, so I told the teacher. Well, I don’t know what the teacher did or what he said to Daniel, but we were headed out to the gym after lunch the next day and he flipped my hair from behind as he ran past me. Then he turned around and walked beside me and said, “Whatchu gonna do, tell the teacher again?” That kind of stuff continued until the end of the year school year.

Then, while we were out of school for the summer, he came to visit some boys from school who lived in my neighborhood. I had no problem with them. They were alright. They would come and visit once in a while, and sometimes we would hang out on the weekend. They came over that weekend, and Daniel was with them.

We were all just standing around talking then I did something dumb. I don’t know why. Maybe I felt safe in my own yard or something like that. I don’t know, but I threw a pack of mayonnaise on the ground beside the bully and stomped it. It squirted out onto his pants. I remember him grabbing me, but the next thing I knew I was on top of him on the ground beating him in the face with my fist. I got up off him and stood on my porch feeling like I had paid him back as he walked away with the other two boys. When school started back, he didn’t bother me, and he never bothered me again.

Fighting is not always the answer. It should never be the answer, but unfortunately, we’re not always left with much of a choice. We humans can only take so much bullying before we break and want to fight back. That’s one reason so many young people snap and go shoot a bunch of other kids. I hear of so much bullying in schools today, and the teachers and parents refuse to do anything about it, but when the victim retaliates, they get into trouble.

Look what the Apostle Paul said in Romans 12:18. “If possible, you should live peacefully with everyone.” That’s the best route to go, but it’s not always a popular one. It’s not what most people choose to do. In Romans 12:2, Paul said, “Do not conform to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so you may test and see what God considers good, and acceptable, and perfect.” In other words, Don’t be like everybody else. Be converted and find out what is good in God’s eyes and do that.

In verse 17 Paul said, “Do not repay anyone for evil with evil. Do good in the presence of everyone.” In verse 21 he said, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” How do we do that? He gives us a great example in verse 14; He says, “Speak well of those who persecute you; Speak well, and do not condemn.” In Matthew 5:44-45, Jesus said, “Love your enemies. Bless those who curse you. Do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you, and persecute you, so that you may be the children of your Father who is in heaven.” Back in Romans 12:20, Paul said, “If your enemy is hungry, feed them. If they thirst, give them something to drink. By doing this, you will pile up coals of fire on their head.” This “fire” may have one of two results. It may melt their heart, and you may gain a friend. Abraham Lincoln once said, “Do I not destroy my enemy, when I make him my friend?”

On the other hand, some bullies don’t respond well to kindness from their victims. Your kindness may make them angry or they may confuse your kindness for weakness and continue bullying you. Continue to pray for them. God will take care of it in his own way, and time. Look what Paul tells us in verse 19. He said, “Dear loved ones, do not avenge yourselves. Leave that to God: because it is written, “the LORD says, Vengeance is mine; I will repay.”

We must practice obeying God’s word to the fullest, no matter how uncomfortable it may be at first. God knows what’s best, always. We need to trust him and pray for grace and strength to obey. We have to start now. If we’re not fully committed to God and his ways now, we certainly won’t be able to obey him when persecution comes to us. So commit to him now, and pray without ceasing. “Those who stand firm to the end will be saved.” (Matthew 10:22)

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MR. JOBE AND THE TENNIS RACKET

When I was in elementary school, one of my teachers was Mr. Jobe. He was a very nice, friendly man, and a great teacher. He was also the school Principle.

One day in his math class, we were taking a test. Everyone was quietly working, and as each student finished, they took their paper to the teacher’s desk and returned to their seat. I think Mr. Jobe may have been grading the papers as they were turned in. At least, he was sitting at his desk looking down at whatever he was doing.

When I completed my test, I folded it and put my name on it. Then, I walked to his desk and laid it with the other student’s papers. As I turned to head back to my desk, I noticed a set of tennis rackets laying on the shelf which was on the wall to the right of the teacher. His desk was several feet from the wall behind him to allow room to access the blackboard, so the shelf was behind him.

Of course, me being the clown that I was, I picked up one of those rackets and got my friend Randy’s attention. I pretended the tennis ball was coming at me as I swung the racket to right. Then, I stepped to the side and swung to the left. Then, I raised the racket over my right shoulder and swung it straight up over my head. When I did, the round, three-ringed, metal light fixture came crashing to the floor. That got everybody’s attention, including Mr. Jobe.

I looked at the mess on the floor, then I look at him. He was looking at me and getting up out of his chair. I knew I was in trouble. He grabbed the paddle, then he grabbed me by the arm and said, “Out in the hall. The very idea; Playing in the room.” I had always been angry with the teachers after they paddled me before, but not this time. Of all the paddlings I had gotten in school over the years, I knew I deserved that one, so I braced myself for it and took it like a man. Soon, it was over and I went back in and reassembled the light fixture, and took the walk of shame back to my desk. I always liked, and respected Mr. Jobe and the paddling didn’t change that.

After we graduated, I didn’t see him again for more than fifteen years. Then, one day my wife asked me if I knew a Charles Jobe. I said I did and asked her why. She said he was a patient at the assisted living facility where she worked. My children would go over and sing to the people there sometimes to cheer them up. Mr. Jobe saw my youngest son and thought he looked like me. He asked him his name and found out I was his dad so he told my wife to ask me to come and see him.

When I walked into his room, his eyes lit up, and even though he was not feeling well, that encouraging smile he always had for his students covered his whole face. We talked for quite a while about the old days, about my sisters, and about some of the other students and teachers at our old school.

Then he told me something very interesting. He said he had a dream. I think he said he had it more than once. In the dream, God’s angels were singing a song. He said when he woke up from the dream, he wrote the song down, words and music, and had it published. He even received some royalty money from it. I thought that was amazing.

Before we left that day, my kids sang for him and we prayed with him. That’s the last time I saw him. He was soon moved to a nursing home in another state, and later we heard that he had passed away. I’m glad I got to see him that one last time. I’m glad God put him in my life for those few years in elementary school. He made a difference in my life and the lives of so many others. I hope someone can say that about me after I’m gone.

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THE LIZARD, THE SNAKE, AND THE SEA DRAGON

More memories from my early days at Gift school have resurfaced. I remember getting up in the mornings, getting ready for school, and getting on the bus in the winter while it was still dark. My first-grade teacher’s name was Miss Gay, and her mother, Mrs. Minnie V was my second, and third-grade teacher. Both the second and third-grade classes were in the same room together, so I don’t really remember which grade I was in the year I’m telling you about. I just know it was one of those two.

It was the first day of school and the bus stopped at a house where it had not stopped the year before. A small kid was waiting there at the end of the driveway. His dad was waiting there with him to see him off to school on his first day. He was just starting the first grade, and evidently, he was a little nervous about riding the bus. He started crying, and screaming, “I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go.” He became hysterical. His dad tried to calm him down and convince him to get on the bus, but it didn’t do any good. After a few minutes of chaos, he told the bus driver that he would bring the kid to school, and we moved on to the next stop.

Every morning when we arrived at the school, the bus would ease up to the driveway and stop in front of the school. It was a big red, brick building with wide concrete steps that went up to the second floor to a wider concrete porch with big columns. The doors opened into a big auditorium with a tongue-and-groove hardwood floor that creaked and squeaked when we walked on it. There was a stage on the opposite wall that faced the front door, and classrooms on each side. The Principle’s office, and the storage room, for the chairs and other miscellaneous stuff, shared the wall with the stage.

I can recall several events that were held in that auditorium. We had our Christmas plays there, and our song practicing for the plays. Parent’s night and graduations were held there. Then there was that Fall Festival with a King and Queen contest that my sister was crowned queen in. When it was raining or was too cold to be outside, the second through eighth-grade students could play and hang out in that big area.

One day we had two special guests in the auditorium that many of us were excited to see. A group of people brought a giant lizard and a giant snake to show off. I don’t remember exactly what kind either of them was, but they were both the same color, a dark shiny black, which I found pretty interesting. The lizard looked just like the snake, but without legs, and it was shorter.

They put a table in front of the stage and sat the lizard on it and let us come up and pet it. Then they took the snake and stretched it out to show us how long it was. From what I can remember, I would say it was probably ten to twelve feet long and about as big around as a basketball. It took three men to pick it up. It was huge.

I remembered hearing about a snake that was so big it swallowed a baby whole. I wondered if it could have been that snake. After I was older I realized that was not the only large snake in the world, and it was certainly not the biggest. I’ve since heard of snakes swallowing grown men and large animals, such as deer and cows.

When I was young, I always loved seeing the different creatures that God has created, especially the ones I had never seen before. I miss that feeling of seeing a creature for the first time, but once in a while, I get to see one I’ve never seen before. I recently saw the most amazing creature I have seen in many years. We went to the zoo for the blue-millionth time. I’ve seen all those old broken down animals and all the same kinds of creatures that they have had for the last twenty years, but it’s fun to watch our grandson as he sees them live for the first time.

He loves to fish, so we went into the aquarium building. We looked at the fish, of course. There are so many fish that are so beautiful and colorful that seeing them never gets old. Then we saw the water turtles and the water snakes and eels, and all the strange creatures that live in the water. But then, I saw something I don’t remember ever seeing in my whole life. It was a sea dragon. Its head reminded me a little of a seahorse. It was beautiful. I was so amazed. I couldn’t look away. Even more amazing, it was just sitting there in one spot without moving. As I examined it I saw little fins moving to keep it suspended in one spot. It was so awesome. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. When we got home I looked it up on the internet and found that there are several different kinds and many variations, both in shape and color. Very fascinating.

God has created some amazing creatures in this world, and there are so many. I know I haven’t seen them all, and I probably never will in my lifetime, but one day, after God wipes the curse of sin from the earth and recreates it, we will have eternity to enjoy all of his creations (Isaiah 65:17; Revelation 21:1; 2 Peter 3:13).

In 1 Corinthians 2:9, the Apostle Paul, quoting the Prophet Isaiah said, But as it is written, Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the minds of man, the things that God has prepared for those who love him (Isaiah 64:4; 1 Cor. 2:9).

I have a very big imagination, and I can imagine some pretty amazing things, but God is telling us that nothing we could ever imagine could ever come close to the things that God has prepared for us. That’s an amazing thought just by itself, so think about it for a while.

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TADPOLES, MOLES, AND EASTER EGGS

Wow! I can’t believe all the memories I have stored in my brain from just five years at Gift school. I could probably write a book, but for now, I just want to share these memories, and maybe encourage someone else, or make someone smile.

I remember my first-grade teacher’s name was Miss Gay. Her mother, Mrs. Minnie V. was my second, and third-grade teacher. Both the second and third-grade classes were in the same room together. I never thought that was weird back then because we saw schools on TV where kids from every grade were all in one room.

I had a lot of fun at Gift, and I enjoy remembering those times once in a while. There was lots of water around the school, and there were lots of frogs and tadpoles. I told my grandmother about them, and how they turned into frogs, but she didn’t believe it. I guess that seemed like evolution, and she didn’t believe in that, and rightly so. That’s not proof of evolution, by the way. It’s nothing more than a frog egg developing into a frog without the confines of a shell, as many other egg-laying creatures have.

Anyway, I found a big can from the lunchroom, collected some tadpoles in some water, and took them home. I wanted my grandmother to witness them growing into frogs. Well, low and behold, my little sister happened upon my makeshift aquarium. She didn’t know my plan. I don’t even know if she knew what was in the can, but she poured the water out, and the baby frogs along with it. Ugggh! All that trouble to get a can, and getting the tadpoles in it, and all the trouble getting it home on the bus, without spilling it. All that effort down the drain. But, I loved my sister, so I forgave her.

Another time there was a mole in the schoolyard, and we could see it moving beneath the ground. We wanted to see what a mole looked like, so we chased him down, and cut him off at both ends of his trail. One kid dug from one side, and I dug from the other until we had it cornered. Then we removed the last bit of dirt, and there it was. We didn’t get much of a look at it, though. It ran out of the hole and disappeared under the leaves. It was so fast. All that time, wasted, and we still didn’t know exactly what a mole looked like.

In the first grade, we got to watch a movie once in a while in the afternoon. Sometimes we got to watch TV for class, and I remember watching Sesame Street, and The Electric Company during recess sometimes, especially when it was raining, or cold outside.

I remember one Easter, it was wet and nasty outside, so we hid the eggs in the classroom. We hunted until the teacher thought we had found them all. Turns out, we stopped just one egg short. Later on that summer, someone found the egg behind something on a shelf. We were so excited. You would have thought we had found a hidden treasure. We all knew it was rotten by then, but we had to see how bad. We took it outside and gathered around the student who had the egg. He threw it on the ground, and before you could say Ty-Con-De-Rogga, the smell penetrated our nostrils, and the whole class erupted in a torrent of screams and yells. Gagging, running, and falling followed. Finally, the teacher restored order and got us all safely back inside. What a beautiful memory. I can almost smell it now, as I think about it.

Well, that’s as far as I want to go down Memory Lane today. It’s always fun to visit those places and savor those memories. It’s good to know that I have so many good memories to reflect on in this world of growing turmoil. I pray that someday when we look back at our past, there will only be good times to remember.

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GRANDMA AND THE OLD CLOCK

More memories from my school days at Gift are still rattling around in my head. This time we go back to Kindergarten. The first grade was not in the same building as the second through eighth-grade classes, and the Kindergarten class wasn’t either. In fact, it wasn’t even in the same lot. There was the School, a big, brick, and concrete building. The first grade was in a mobile home that had been converted into a classroom. It was located behind the school. The Kindergarten class was in a house on the other side of the playground, and across a field with some trees.

I remember playing outside in the sandbox. It was fun, but I liked exploring more than digging around in a sandbox that a cat had used for a litter box. I went all over the yard, as far as I was allowed to go. One day I found an old alarm clock in the weeds. I was always intrigued by things like that; things I could take apart to see how they worked.

I went and showed it to one of my teachers, and she said I could have it, so I took it home. When I got there that evening and started playing with it, my grandmother asked me where I got it. I told her, but she didn’t believe me. I don’t remember telling a lie until a few years later in life, but maybe I did. Whatever the reason, she told me to take it back, and tell the teacher I had stolen it. 

I took it back the next day and tried to give it to the teacher. I told her I couldn’t keep it, and I told her what my grandmother had said. My teacher came to see my grandmother at our house and straightened it all out. My grandmother apologized to me, and I got to keep the clock. 

My wife and I have raised three kids of our own now, and I think I understand a little of what my grandmother went through raising me and two of my sisters. It’s not easy. I remember several times when I thought my kids had lied, but I found out I was wrong. All I could do was say “I’m sorry” and move on. I hope they all understand that no parent is perfect, and if they haven’t already, I hope they’ll forgive me for the times I was wrong while trying to prepare them for adulthood. If they don’t understand now, they will as they raise their own children. I pray they will always trust God, and allow him to guide them in this very important responsibility.

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