HANDLING BULLIES

Remember the fights in school? Remember how everybody would gather around and watch and encourage their friends? When I was in school, I was not a fighter. I didn’t get in trouble many times for fighting, but the few times I did, I was not the one who started the fight. I remember one fight I had with a guy named Robert. I don’t remember why the fight started, but I do remember that wrestling move he used on me. I’ll never forget it. He grabbed my arms from the front, and fell backward on the ground, pulling me down with him. At the same time, he put both of his feet on my stomach and flipped me over his head onto the ground behind him. It knocked the breath right out of me.

Mrs. Brauner saw us and came to break up the fight. It was already over, but she did her duty and told us to go clean up, then come to the Library for our paddling. As Robert and I walked together to the restroom, he said we should put a bunch of toilet paper in our pants to keep the paddling from hurting so bad, so that’s what I did. I went into one of the stalls and packed my underwear, full, and I assumed he did, too. Then, we both walked together down the long hallway to the library to take our punishment. I don’t think the toilet paper helped any. If it did, I would have hated to take that paddling without it. It hurt! Good old Robert. He tried to help. What’s funny is, we became friends after that.

There was another kid there who rode our bus. He was always poking fun at me and one of my sisters, laughing and talking about our zits. We actually had the acne disease. I had it all over my face and chest, but she had it on her face, chest, and back. We had to go to the doctor regularly to get medication for it, but it didn’t do much good. Not a day went by that he didn’t harass us about it. It got old, but there was nothing we could do about it.

I know you’ve heard “What goes around comes around.” Karma, or whatever it may be. After elementary school, I didn’t see him for a few years. He was a teenager the next time I saw him, and his face was so full of zits you probably couldn’t put your finger on his face without touching one. I wasn’t a Christian then so I actually laughed, and said, “That’s what he gets for making fun of us.”

There were two or three times in school when I was bullied by another student. One of those times was by a kid named Tommy. He would sit behind me on the school bus and flick my ear. The first few times, he acted like it wasn’t him, but after I knew it was, he would do it and laugh about it. Later, he started doing it and getting other kids to laugh about it.

Then one day, I had had enough. When he flicked my ear, I turned around in my seat and yelled at him to leave me alone. I guess he didn’t like that, so he grabbed both of my ears and slammed his head into my head three times as hard as he could. It hurt so bad it made me cry. After that day, we got along pretty good, and he never bothered me again. I guess he got it out of his system.

There was another bully name Daniel. He would do all kinds of stuff to me just to aggravate me. I don’t remember all the stuff he did. He was just bullying me around all the time, so I told the teacher. Well, I don’t know what the teacher did or what he said to Daniel, but we were headed out to the gym after lunch the next day and he flipped my hair from behind as he ran past me. Then he turned around and walked beside me and said, “Whatchu gonna do, tell the teacher again?” That kind of stuff continued until the end of the year school year.

Then, while we were out of school for the summer, he came to visit some boys from school who lived in my neighborhood. I had no problem with them. They were alright. They would come and visit once in a while, and sometimes we would hang out on the weekend. They came over that weekend, and Daniel was with them.

We were all just standing around talking then I did something dumb. I don’t know why. Maybe I felt safe in my own yard or something like that. I don’t know, but I threw a pack of mayonnaise on the ground beside the bully and stomped it. It squirted out onto his pants. I remember him grabbing me, but the next thing I knew I was on top of him on the ground beating him in the face with my fist. I got up off him and stood on my porch feeling like I had paid him back as he walked away with the other two boys. When school started back, he didn’t bother me, and he never bothered me again.

Fighting is not always the answer. It should never be the answer, but unfortunately, we’re not always left with much of a choice. We humans can only take so much bullying before we break and want to fight back. That’s one reason so many young people snap and go shoot a bunch of other kids. I hear of so much bullying in schools today, and the teachers and parents refuse to do anything about it, but when the victim retaliates, they get into trouble.

Look what the Apostle Paul said in Romans 12:18. “If possible, you should live peacefully with everyone.” That’s the best route to go, but it’s not always a popular one. It’s not what most people choose to do. In Romans 12:2, Paul said, “Do not conform to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so you may test and see what God considers good, and acceptable, and perfect.” In other words, Don’t be like everybody else. Be converted and find out what is good in God’s eyes and do that.

In verse 17 Paul said, “Do not repay anyone for evil with evil. Do good in the presence of everyone.” In verse 21 he said, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” How do we do that? He gives us a great example in verse 14; He says, “Speak well of those who persecute you; Speak well, and do not condemn.” In Matthew 5:44-45, Jesus said, “Love your enemies. Bless those who curse you. Do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you, and persecute you, so that you may be the children of your Father who is in heaven.” Back in Romans 12:20, Paul said, “If your enemy is hungry, feed them. If they thirst, give them something to drink. By doing this, you will pile up coals of fire on their head.” This “fire” may have one of two results. It may melt their heart, and you may gain a friend. Abraham Lincoln once said, “Do I not destroy my enemy, when I make him my friend?”

On the other hand, some bullies don’t respond well to kindness from their victims. Your kindness may make them angry or they may confuse your kindness for weakness and continue bullying you. Continue to pray for them. God will take care of it in his own way, and time. Look what Paul tells us in verse 19. He said, “Dear loved ones, do not avenge yourselves. Leave that to God: because it is written, “the LORD says, Vengeance is mine; I will repay.”

We must practice obeying God’s word to the fullest, no matter how uncomfortable it may be at first. God knows what’s best, always. We need to trust him and pray for grace and strength to obey. We have to start now. If we’re not fully committed to God and his ways now, we certainly won’t be able to obey him when persecution comes to us. So commit to him now, and pray without ceasing. “Those who stand firm to the end will be saved.” (Matthew 10:22)

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MR. JOBE AND THE TENNIS RACKET

When I was in elementary school, one of my teachers was Mr. Jobe. He was a very nice, friendly man, and a great teacher. He was also the school Principle.

One day in his math class, we were taking a test. Everyone was quietly working, and as each student finished, they took their paper to the teacher’s desk and returned to their seat. I think Mr. Jobe may have been grading the papers as they were turned in. At least, he was sitting at his desk looking down at whatever he was doing.

When I completed my test, I folded it and put my name on it. Then, I walked to his desk and laid it with the other student’s papers. As I turned to head back to my desk, I noticed a set of tennis rackets laying on the shelf which was on the wall to the right of the teacher. His desk was several feet from the wall behind him to allow room to access the blackboard, so the shelf was behind him.

Of course, me being the clown that I was, I picked up one of those rackets and got my friend Randy’s attention. I pretended the tennis ball was coming at me as I swung the racket to right. Then, I stepped to the side and swung to the left. Then, I raised the racket over my right shoulder and swung it straight up over my head. When I did, the round, three-ringed, metal light fixture came crashing to the floor. That got everybody’s attention, including Mr. Jobe.

I looked at the mess on the floor, then I look at him. He was looking at me and getting up out of his chair. I knew I was in trouble. He grabbed the paddle, then he grabbed me by the arm and said, “Out in the hall. The very idea; Playing in the room.” I had always been angry with the teachers after they paddled me before, but not this time. Of all the paddlings I had gotten in school over the years, I knew I deserved that one, so I braced myself for it and took it like a man. Soon, it was over and I went back in and reassembled the light fixture, and took the walk of shame back to my desk. I always liked, and respected Mr. Jobe and the paddling didn’t change that.

After we graduated, I didn’t see him again for more than fifteen years. Then, one day my wife asked me if I knew a Charles Jobe. I said I did and asked her why. She said he was a patient at the assisted living facility where she worked. My children would go over and sing to the people there sometimes to cheer them up. Mr. Jobe saw my youngest son and thought he looked like me. He asked him his name and found out I was his dad so he told my wife to ask me to come and see him.

When I walked into his room, his eyes lit up, and even though he was not feeling well, that encouraging smile he always had for his students covered his whole face. We talked for quite a while about the old days, about my sisters, and about some of the other students and teachers at our old school.

Then he told me something very interesting. He said he had a dream. I think he said he had it more than once. In the dream, God’s angels were singing a song. He said when he woke up from the dream, he wrote the song down, words and music, and had it published. He even received some royalty money from it. I thought that was amazing.

Before we left that day, my kids sang for him and we prayed with him. That’s the last time I saw him. He was soon moved to a nursing home in another state, and later we heard that he had passed away. I’m glad I got to see him that one last time. I’m glad God put him in my life for those few years in elementary school. He made a difference in my life and the lives of so many others. I hope someone can say that about me after I’m gone.

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