THE KEY TO A LONG, HAPPY MARRIAGE

This year, 2025, my wife and I will celebrate Thirty years of marriage. To some, that may seem like a long time. To others, it may seem like just a blink of an eye, but in today’s society, staying married for thirty years is not that common anymore.

Recently, several of my Facebook friends have celebrated being married between Twenty and Thirty years. Congratulations guys. I recently heard of one couple who was about to celebrate their eighty-first wedding anniversary and another couple who had been married for eighty-three years. According to Wikipedia, the record for the longest marriage in modern times is almost ninety-one years.*

When I hear couples share their secrets to a long marriage, it’s never a cookie-cutter answer, but what they all say always boils down to the same thing; Commitment.

Sadly, these days, marriages are getting shorter and shorter, with some lasting only a year or so, while others have ended after only a day. I read about one that lasted only 15 hours. That's sad.

I was watching a Christian movie called COURAGEOUS and one of the characters said, “Divorce comes with the territory.” Another character said something like, “Only because we make it an option.” I totally agree.

My first marriage ended in divorce, so I understand there are bumps, valleys, hills, and mountains in every relationship. That’s why, when I married again, my wife and I both vowed that divorce would never be an option. We had our share of problems, and yes, our marriage was tested. Humans are selfish creatures. Times change, and so do people. Sometimes we get caught up in the cares of life and lose sight of the big picture.

That’s where Commitment comes in. We have to be committed, not only to the marriage but to each other as well. Some people with bad marriages stay married for the children, but if both people are not committed to each other, the marriage can’t be a happy one.

When two people get married, they vow before God to “have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward, until death parts us.” Then, quoting Jesus in Mark 10:9, the minister says, “Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one put asunder,” which means to separate.

In the previous verse, Mark 10:8, Jesus said, “the two will be one flesh: so, then they are no more two, but one flesh.” No wonder divorce is so painful. It’s unnatural. After being joined together by God, splitting “One Flesh” into Two again is devastating to both people, and neither of them can ever be the same again.

To prevent this unnatural split, it’s vitally important to be committed to the One who created marriage in the beginning; the same day he created Adam and Eve. (Genesis 2:21-24)

I’m sure there have been long-lasting marriages where God was not put first, but, I’m sure those relationships would have been awesome if they had put him first. God wants to see long-lasting marriages, but he also wants those marriages to be happy ones. He loves us, and he’ll work with us as much as we allow him to.

Time and time again, I’ve heard, “Marriage Takes Two,” but really, marriage takes three. The Man, the Woman, and God. I’ve also heard, “In A Marriage, It’s Give And Take; 50/50,” but actually, each person has to give 100% to make it work. God will definitely give 100% if we allow him to be part of our marriages. So think about that for a minute. That’s 300% effort being put into it. A marriage like that will stand the test of time. It'll be a happy marriage, and it will last until death separates the couple.

So the secret to a long and happy marriage is Commitment. Commitment to God first. Then Commitment to our spouse. Commitment to the union, and Commitment to the vows we made before God. Simple? Maybe; Maybe not. But, “With God, all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).

*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_with_the_longest_marriages

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FAMILY

Winter can be so beautiful sometimes. I love to see the ground and trees covered with snow. Everything is so defined. It seems you can see for miles through the woods where you usually are only able to see a short distance. This is about the only time I can appreciate winter. Most of the time I’m just wishing spring would show up and chase the cold away. I can live with the few times each year that it snows where I live, but what I really hate is the ice that winter often brings. Even then, it can be beautiful, but traveling is dangerous, and at times, impossible. Trees fall down, and roads and bridges ice over, causing wrecks. The electricity often goes off, leaving some cold and in the dark, sometimes for days or even weeks. The winter months can be harsh and bitter, depending on where you live, but if you look, you can always find a silver lining behind those winter clouds.

A few years ago we lost our electricity because of the ice. It was only for a few hours, but we didn’t have any idea how long it would be out. I felt so helpless. All I could do was call the electric company, pray, and wait. We sat down to eat just as it was getting dark. We lit some candles and a lamp and shared a candlelight supper. Then when the lights came back on, we played a game of Scattergories. It was a good evening of family fun. We laughed, we cried, and we laughed some more. We had a great time just being together with nothing to distract us. The electricity going out was a good thing because it gave us some extra time to enjoy being together as a family.

In today’s busy world with all the things we have to distract us, families are drifting further and further apart. We see it every day, and each year it just gets worse, but what many people don’t see is that it’s Satan’s plan to destroy the family. Family keeps us grounded. Family gives us stability and knowing that someone loves us and cares for us keeps us on the right track. Just look at what kind of trouble people get into when they don’t have family to rely on and to keep them headed in the right direction. Especially young people.

God created the family for a reason. Nothing happens by chance, yet so many want to believe that we evolved from a rock over millions of years. God is intentional. He knows what he’s doing. The Bible tells us, in the book of Genesis, that God created our galaxy, the earth, the ocean, the trees, the plants and animals and everything else. Then he told Adam and Eve to start a family (Genesis 1:1-28).

Family is important to God. Before he sent the flood to cleanse the earth from sin, he told Noah to build an ark to save his family (Genesis 6 and 7). Before he destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, he sent angels to bring Lot and his family out of the city (Genesis 19). When he destroyed Jericho, he saved Rehab and her family (Joshua 2) and there are many more examples in God’s word where God preserves the family.

We need to learn to follow God’s leading. If family is important to God, it should be important to us. Families need to spend more time together and learn to support each other, not just when times get rough, or when we lose a family member. Too often, this is the only time some families can act civil. It shouldn’t take a death in the family to get people to be nice to each other.

Family is one of those things that God has programmed into our instincts but we need to be intentional about preserving relationships. The way things are in the world today, it breeds selfishness in all of us. We don’t take time for the family like we should, and some don’t even think it's important anymore, but God does. If he does, shouldn’t we?

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My Blogs
https://teddylynn.blogspot.com
https://teddylynn.wordpress.com

© 2015 Teddy Lynn – All Rights Reserved

My books are available in paperback and digital format on Amazon @ 
https://www.amazon.com/Teddy-Lynn/e/B01MZDB6L6