READ BETWEEN THE LINES

When I was in school, there was a popular saying going around among the students. “Read Between The Lines.” As you said the words, you held up three fingers with the middle finger being in the middle of the other two, like three lines. When you read between the lines you would discover you were being given the middle finger.

That was a childish game, but I’ve seen adults use it and I used it myself into my late teens, occasionally. But there’s an adult version still kicking around today, but it is a little different. Something is said, and someone else “reads between the lines.” What that means is they’re discovering what the person who spoke really meant but didn’t actually say.

Now occasionally, there are instances where people will say something with camouflaged or hidden meanings that they want someone to know without actually having to say it plainly, but most of the time, when we read between the lines we’re not discovering anything new or extra that the person was thinking but didn’t say, we’re only thinking they said something they didn’t say and didn’t even think.

When we read between the lines, we’re actually projecting our own thoughts and feelings into something someone else said. It’s very likely that what we think we’re discovering between the lines is only our thinking, and has absolutely nothing to do with what the person actually said or thought. In reality, most of the time, I think we’re actually discovering what we think, and feel about the subject being presented.

You may not think you have ever been guilty of reading between the lines because you didn’t think that was what you were doing at the time, but have you ever had someone say to you “That’s not what I said?” You misunderstood what they said. Maybe that was an instance of reading between the lines.

I’ve actually been on both sides of this subject where I thought someone meant something they didn’t mean when they actually didn’t, and I’ve had people think something I said meant something it didn’t mean when I was talking. Our reaction in a situation like this can actually ruin relationships, friendships, and family ties.

So, in the future, let’s think about that before we read between the lines and if we think someone meant something they didn’t actually say, we should talk about it and discuss it with them, in a kind loving way. Not in a mean-spirited manner or a condescending way. We need to be kind, always. Sometimes I’m sure we’ll actually find that they did mean what we thought they meant but didn’t actually say, but most of the time, I think we’ll find that they didn’t mean anything more than what they actually said. We can preserve our relationships by discussing misunderstandings in a respectful, loving way.

Let’s not leave God out of the situation either. Always pray before you talk to someone about some conflict, and make sure God is with you to help with what you say, and how you react. Relationships are very important, so we have to be intentional in preserving them.

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