February 26, 2022

FIRECRACKERS, CIGARETTES, AND GOD


When I was a kid, my grandmother put an empty milk jug in the fork of a small tree in front of our house, to keep birds away, if I remember correctly. I loved firecrackers and she would buy me some once in a while. I was going to light one and drop it into the jug to see if anything close to what I was imagining would happen. So, I lit the firecracker with a match, then started to drop it into the jug, but before I could let it go, it exploded, making my ears ring, and making my fingers black, and throbbing with pain. I had a ringing in my right ear for the rest of the day. Lesson learned.

I was a very impressionable child. I had so many ideas, but such low self-esteem. I didn’t like who I was, so I wanted to be like others. When my sister got glasses, I wanted glasses.

I also wanted a cast on my arm. Maybe because our preacher’s son had one. It was a short one that only went about halfway up his forearm. I thought it was cool, so maybe that’s why I wanted one. Like I told one of my friends when I was telling this story to them, I was the dumbest kid that I have ever known in my entire life, and you’ll probably agree with me when I tell you this next thing. I wanted a cast on my arm so bad that I tried to break my own arm. It embarrasses me right now just telling you this, but it’s important.

Remember that small tree with the fork in our front yard? Well, I put my arm in the fork and tried bending it back in order to break it. See what I mean? I was a dumb kid. Thankfully, I chickened out and gave up. To this day, I’ve never had a broken bone, unless you count my fractured skull when I was in elementary school.

I really liked the preacher’s son and looked up to him. I thought he was so cool. He must have really been, because all the other kids at church thought he was, too. He dipped, so I wanted to dip. My grandmother bought me a can of Skoal and gave it to me. I tried to taste it a few times, but it smelled awful. When I finally taste it, it was awful, so I just walked around with it in my back pocket for a few weeks, then I gave up the idea. I tasted chewing tobacco by sticking it to my tongue, and it was not good at all, so I didn’t try anything like that again.

My aunts and uncles smoked cigarettes. My mother smoked Prince Albert tobacco that had to be rolled up in papers. She rolled three for me, put them in a can half full of tobacco, and gave me some papers and some matches. I walked around with those for a few days and never even let one. Eventually, I gave that idea up as well.

As a kid, I did and wanted to do some things that were not healthy for me, but there were several things I wanted to do that were good. I wanted to be a firefighter, a police officer, and a preacher, among many other things. I guess I wasn’t completely full of bad ideas.

As I look back on those days, I can see how God worked to guide me in the right direction, although I left the path several times in pursuit of things that were not good for me. I’m thankful for those experiences because they help me now to kind of understand how other people can make bad decisions in life.

I thank God for the good and wise people that he put in my life when I was growing up. I’m so thankful for my grandmother teaching me about Jesus and helping me to learn to love his holy word, the Bible. When I look back to my childhood, I see how much my thoughts and ideas have improved, and that gives me hope for the future. With God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).

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