A MAN ON THE EDGE

It’s one fifteen in the morning. Chris is startled from sleep by a blood-chilling scream. By the time he gathers his senses, he realizes the scream came from his own mouth. The dream again. The same dream, over and over, for years. A better description would be a nightmare. This one is not as bad as some of the others he has, almost nightly, but this one keeps coming back. The sweat burns his eyes as he tries to catch his breath, and he wonders, “What’s going on with me?” He won’t get much sleep for the rest of the morning. Six a.m. will come, and he will be so tired he won’t be able to function properly all day.

That’s the way it’s been for several years now. The meaning of many of his nightmares is perfectly clear to Chris, but he doesn’t have a clue about this one. Maybe that’s why it haunts him. Maybe he needs to understand. He just doesn’t know. What he does know is that it’s not normal. He knows that everybody doesn’t dream the same dream over and over, again and again, year after year. He wishes to be normal. He wishes he could get some sleep.

The lack of sleep, and the pressures of work, along with a thousand other problems, have led to anxiety and depression, which have given rise to other problems, both physical and emotional. All this is having a negative effect on his relationships with his family and friends, and it’s affecting his performance at his job, as well.

Now, he lies in bed, tossing and turning, trying desperately to get back to sleep. His mind just won’t rest. It won’t even slow down. One thought jumps to another, and another, and then another until they all run together. Finally, after hours of restlessness, Chris finally falls asleep. Less than an hour later his alarm goes off. He hits the snooze to rest a few more minutes. By the time he gets awake enough to move, he realizes he has overslept.

Running late again, he fights his way through the thick rush of morning traffic. Finally, he makes it to work. The morning wears on slowly, and he is bombarded with paperwork. He has several moments where he almost walks out, never to return, but he perseveres, and lunchtime finally arrives. Exhausted from lack of sleep, and drained from the morning’s toil, the last thing on his mind is food. All he can think about is closing his eyes and never opening them again. He goes to his car, sets the alarm on his watch for one hour, and quickly falls asleep.

An hour passes, and when the alarm on Chris’ watch startles him awake, he feels as though he had only just closed his eyes a minute ago. He drags himself out of his car and back to work for two more terribly long, agonizing hours. Quitting time finally arrives, bringing with it a breath of fresh air, and a sigh of relief. Still, Chris feels overwhelmed and drained of all his energy, so he drags himself to his car, and heads home for the day.

As he drives home, he thinks to himself, “There’s gotta be more to life than this. If not, why even go on living?” Just then, he looks up at the sky, and says out loud, “Why don’t you help me, God?” He spends the rest of the ride home talking to Jesus and hoping for some kind of answer, some way to feel better, some peace, some closure. “It has to get better,” he says, “It has to.”

Does that sound familiar in any way? It’s sad that, so often, we have to reach our lowest point before we call on God for help. He wants to be our friend and constant companion in all situations. In the good times as well as the bad. Many times a situation would have been resolved long before it escalated into something unbearable if we would only stay in constant communication with God, as Jesus did when he was on earth.

In today’s world, a close relationship with Jesus is what we all need to stay on the right track. We are being attacked on every side. We need his help to remain strong in the face of opposition. Christian persecution may not have affected you yet, but Christians around the world are being persecuted and killed every day. None of us can stand for God in the face of such evil acts unless we spend time, daily, in his presence.

Trust him (Psalm 9:10). Obey him (Luke 11:28). Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Give him all your burdens (1 Peter 5:7), and he will give you strength to face anything, and still be able to stand up for him and his truth. ---

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© 2012 Teddy Lynn – All Rights Reserved

Adapted for the book “Inspiration For The Journey” by Teddy Lynn © 2012-2016 All Rights Reserved

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