BETRAYED BY A FRIEND

During my ten years in Elementary School, I had several best friends. Obviously, I failed two grades, but I also attended four different schools. I lost friends because I changed schools, and I lost friends because they changed schools. I also lost friends both times I failed a grade and they moved up. We were no longer in the same room, and in a few cases, we went to lunch and recess at different times, and just grew apart.

When I was in the first grade at a school called Gift, my best friend was named Vivian. She was a tomboy and wasn’t afraid of a little dirt, or water. When I had to repeat the first grade, she move on to the second and we didn’t get to hang out together as much, and we both made new friends. Then the school closed down and she went to Kossuth and I went to Union Center.

My best friend there was Samuel. We were in the same class, and we hung out together at recess and ate lunch together every day. We were both right-handed, but I never really thought much about it at all. I knew there were left-handed people and right-handed people. That’s just the way it was. Then one day, we were sitting at the table in the lunchroom, and just out of the blue, he suggested that we both start using our left hands to eat, as he picked up some spaghetti with his fork using his left hand. I tried it and found it to be a bit difficult, but I figured I could adapt with a little practice. Then he suggested we start doing everything left-handed. I said "okay," and that’s what we did for the rest of the year.

Soon, Summer break came, which lasted about four months in those days. We didn’t see each other all that time, and when school started back, he moved on to the sixth grade and I had to repeat the fifth. Later that year, his family moved to California. They moved back a few years later and he went to Kossuth.

When I graduated from elementary school, I went to the high school at Kossuth, and there was Samuel. I didn’t get to see him much, because we were in different grades and the school was so big, and I was only there for a few months, but to my surprise, he was still using his left hand to eat. I had given that up years ago and hadn’t really thought much about it. It was a bit difficult, and without him there to encourage me, I just went back to what was comfortable.

When I failed the fifth grade, and Samuel moved on, he wasn’t the only one. All my classmates moved up to the sixth grade. The new school year began with a whole room full of new people coming from the fourth grade. That’s when I met Randy and we became best friends. A few years later, when we were in the seventh grade, he suggested that we both come to school the next day with our hair parted in the middle. I was reluctant, but I finally agreed to do it.

When I got home, I went into the bathroom and started messing with my hair to see what it would look like parted in the middle. I’ve never liked change as far back as I can remember, and when it came to my hair, that was especially true. I always kept my hair neat, and I didn’t want anyone to touch it. I even wore hairspray from my mid-teens into my thirties. Many people thought I was vain, and probably thought I was stuck up, or full of myself, but it was just the opposite. I’ve never, in my life, thought that I was handsome or good-looking. Never. I didn’t think I was ugly, but I knew I was not good-looking, so I tried my best to look as nice as I possibly could, with my clothes and hair, because I knew that’s all I had.

Anyway, I didn’t quite like the way my new hairstyle made me look that day after school, but I had told Randy I would do it, so the next morning when I got ready for school, I parted my hair in the middle. I kept messing with it and looking at it, but I just couldn’t leave it like that. I was already shy and self-conscious enough about my looks, and I couldn’t take a chance on making myself look worse, so I chickened out. So, just before the bus came, I quickly fixed my hair back the way I had been wearing it for the last few years; the way I was comfortable wearing it. Then, I got on the bus.

When the bus stopped at Randy’s house, he got on and sat down beside me with his new hairstyle. It actually looked good on him. He didn’t pressure me too much about not changing mine and never mentioned it again after that week, as far as I can remember. He just went right on wearing his fly-back hairdo.

Looking back, I feel bad about agreeing with my friends to do something and not following through with it. Those things may seem trivial but I went back on my word. I’m thankful they forgave me and didn’t hate me for it. I’m sorry I let you guys down. Thank you both for your continued friendship.

Friendship is something special. There are many good quotes and expressions out there about friendship, and there are several variations to many of them. The first one that comes to my mind is "To have a friend, you must be a friend." I’ve heard that one for as long as I can remember, and you probably have, too. Did you know it comes from the Bible? Proverbs 18:24 says, "A man that has friends must be friendly, and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother."  

Friendship is important for many reasons. We need friends to encourage us, comfort us, and hold us accountable in certain aspects of life. Studies have even shown that friendship has positive effects on both emotional and physical health. To make friends, we have to be friendly. To keep friends, we have to be a friend. We have to be honest and reliable. That means keeping our word when at all possible. If for some reason, we can’t do something we have agreed to do, then we need to let our friends know. That’s just common courtesy and should be extended to everyone, not just friends.

We also need to be willing to forgive our friends (and others) when they hurt us, just as we would want them to forgive us if we hurt them. In Matthew 7:12, Jesus gave us what many call the "Golden Rule." He basically said, "Treat others like you want them to treat you." If every person in the world would do that, the world would be a better place to live. If you agree, then put it into practice. As we treat others with kindness and respect, they’ll do the same for us, and for others, and it will spread. It has to start somewhere.

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